As my next court date grew near, well not near but closer, I began to worry that my x would again find a way to postpone and drag shit out further. I spoke to my lawyer and asked that he give me every scenario of what could happen when we walked into court. Looking back I realize this was probably an unnecessary, not to mention expensive, move, but the last time I was so unprepared for the postponement I didn’t want to be taken by surprise again. In the state of California, the family court system doesn’t care who did what, it’s called a “no fault” state. Basically, it means they don’t care that my husband had a double life or that we had lived together for four plus years. All that mattered was the date we got married and that I walked out on our marriage four months after we walked down the aisle. I know many people like the law but in my eyes at this moment….It is a dumb law- just sayin.
After reliving everything during my week of “one-year” mark memories, I decided to take my friends up on the invite to spend a week in Hawaii. I thought it would be a great time for me to relax and focus on me. The beauty of my life is that I could work from anywhere I had a phone and a laptop, and the idea of getting out of LA and away from my reality for a bit sounded like heaven. This trip would be very different from the last time I was in Hawaii. I had no intention of sitting on the side of the pool and crying for two hours; I did, however, have plans of lying next to the pool with a cocktail in hand for many hours! I was in a much better place and felt like I could enjoy myself. Just looking at my calendar during this time made me exhausted, so I welcomed the break.
I also had a new man in my life, my assistant Jack, and he was fabulous. He was reliable, honest, funny, caring, had flawless style and fabulous hair (hair most girls would kill for). One of my favorite qualities is that could give a look of death in less than 3 seconds, one of those looks you can only learn from your east coast Italian mother. He quickly learned about everything that was going on in my life, and I began to notice that my calendar was suddenly so packed that I didn’t have time to be sad or lonely. From the day Jack started working for me, he always knew what was best. Jack had dropped out of Medical School to move to LA and become a stylist. When he first told me this, I blurted out, “Wow, your parents must be so proud,” intending to sound as sarcastic as it did. He immediately laughed, and I knew we would be together forever! A celebrity client of mine introduced Jack and me, he had interned on a movie she had just wrapped and when I mentioned I was looking for someone she jumped at the chance to introduce us. It was love at first sight. Jack quickly became the man in my life.
I was crazy busy with work and decided I didn’t even have time for men in my life other than Jack. Of course, Jaxton was in and out, per our usual routine of the past one hundred years. Rick, on the other hand, was in my life often, he was someone I relied on regularly; he was dependable, strong, caring and kind. I remember during a particularly stressful week, he called and asked if I could be at a meeting with him the next afternoon. I agreed, even when he called back 2 minutes later to say that I better clear my whole afternoon because the meeting may take a while. I didn’t have time to catch my breath let alone ask questions, so I asked Jack to clear my schedule and rearrange my week to block off the day. I figured the meeting regarded a show we had discussed and that we probably had several meetings lined up back to back. Rick was picking me up at 9 am and at 8:30 he called. “Wear something comfortable,” he said.
“What does that mean?” I asked.
“Well, you need to wear shorts and tennis shoes,” he replied.
“I am NOT wearing shorts and tennis shoes to a meeting!” I said with my voice raising.
“Well, I might have stretched the truth a bit about the meeting. We are not exactly going to a meeting today. Just get dressed, and I will explain when I pick you up, be there soon!” He said as he quickly hung up the phone.
Grrrr, I was so pissed. I had a super busy schedule and didn’t have time for this shit. I took a deep breath and decided to go with the flow, so put on shorts and tennis shoes and met him outside. Rick had been a great friend, and I wasn’t going to throw a fit when he was trying to do something nice, though I thought about it for sure.
“Where the fuck are we going?” I said as I got into the car and slammed the door.
“Good morning to you too,” he said in an annoyingly cheering voice. He immediately started driving, probably so I couldn’t get out of the car. Before he could tell me where we were going I started asking a million questions; “Where are we going? What time will we be back? Will have cell service? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Just relax! You have had a rough couple of weeks, and I think you deserve a day of fun. How could I argue with that?
He didn’t know I was headed to Hawaii in a few days, and I decided to keep that to myself. No need to ruin his fun! As we drove further and further outside of LA, I was totally stumped. Finally, I got it out of him; we were going zip lining at some semi-ski mountain town 2 hours outside of LA. WHAT? I had two thoughts; two hours outside of LA??? And, this was the sweetest thing anyone had done for me in a long time!
Being a girl who is afraid of heights I knew this was going to be a challenge for me, but it was exactly what I needed. We drove to the top of a huge mountain (relative) and then climbed, zipped, and hiked all the way down the hill. The field trip got me out of my head, which has always been pretty difficult to do, even before the past year. I smiled and laughed the entire day, I couldn’t remember the last time I had that much fun. After our zip lining adventure, we went for Mexican food and beers. It was the perfect ending to an unexpected perfect day!
As I left for Hawaii, I knew all the time on my hands would either be a really great thing or a really bad thing. At times, I feel that too much time on my hands causes me to over think things, wait, but maybe that is wine. Time and wine is very bad. Lately, overthinking things had become my new past time, and it was dangerous. I started writing in my journal more and more and when I would go back and read the entries it always seemed like someone else had written them. I would swing between sad and lonely to the positive glass half full, I can conquer the world attitude. I don’t know if it was the roller coaster of emotions or the feeling of being a stranger to myself, but either way, it was exhausting! Sabrina would tell me it was perfectly normal, but I felt like I was crazy- no I knew I was.
Once I arrived in Hawaii and smelled the ocean air, I decided to treat Hawaii like a spa vacation. I slept a lot, went for long walks each day, swam in the ocean, tried not to drink too much. I wanted to come back from the trip feeling great, and I did.
I came back feeling powerful and recharged. I knew it was going to be a hellish couple of months with work, my pending court date and the holidays. I am not a fan of Halloween and barely recognize it as a holiday, ever. I would spend Thanksgiving in New Hampshire for the Miss New Hampshire USA pageant and though I hated not being with my family on holidays, this year it was a relief. The thought of going home this year didn’t even sound fun. The thought of sitting around a table, seeing friends, and having everyone giving me pity face was something I was not interested in. I decided work was the perfect excuse to avoid my first holiday as a single!
Holidays… oh goodie.