At Least He Married Me.

After the conversation with my dad, I knew I had one more call to make, I had to speak to Katy.  Through much internet sleuthing I had found her number now was the time to call.  Once I got up the nerve to dial I reached her voicemail.  I left a message, “Hi Katy, you don’t know me but I need to talk to you about (insert his name here), can you call me back?”  I left my number and then a few moments later I got a text asking me to call her again.  Marcy, Andrea and I sat on the bathroom floor as I put the phone on speaker; I was still wrapped in a towel.  Katy answered in a timid shaky voice and I decided to be direct, I was in no mood for bullshit or small talk at this point

“I think you are dating my husband.”  The phone fell silent.

“What?”  She finally said.

“My husband, I stated his name, he is all over your Facebook and MySpace page, I am married to the man in all of your photos.”

“You must be mistaken, are you sure it is the same person?” she asked.  I was in no way surprised she doubted or questioned me.  Hell, I had the photos and still had moments of doubt.  “Yes, I am 100% sure that is my husband, I can send you our wedding photos!”  She fell silent again.  Then she finally uttered something I will never forget.

“It all makes sense now.”

This was exactly how I felt on so many levels.  I had so many questions for her and they started pouring out of me.

“Are you two married?  Do you have any children?  How long have you been together?  Where do you think he lives? Where do you live?  Have you been to my house?  Did you know I existed?”

I barely took a breath and gave her little chance to respond, I wanted to know everything.  I am sure her head was spinning and I have no idea if she knew about me prior to my message.   I was also afraid she would hang up at any moment and I wouldn’t be able to ask the questions burning my mind.  Hanging up is probably what I would have done if I were her, so I will always be thankful she did not.  She began to explain things as he had explained them to her, where he lived, why he traveled so much, etc.  and in that moment I wholeheartedly believed that Katy was as shocked to learn about me as I was her.   As she spoke I could see he had covered his tracks well, though surprisingly when she was answering all of my questions I actually had the thought of “how on earth did this woman believe all of this garbage?”  Thinking of it now makes me laugh, I am sure Katy and many people that know this story, probably think the same thing about me.   I know I do.

As the conversation came to an end she said something that sent chills up my spine and still does to this day.

“At least he married you.”

What? That is a good thing?  Like I won some grand prize?  I didn’t even know how to respond to that statement.   I later learned more information that explains why she would say something like that.  For now, it just meant she could break up with him and I had to divorce him!   I was the one with insanely beautiful, not to mention very costly, wedding photos that I now wanted to burn.

After I finally hung up I didn’t know what to do or how to feel.  I just kept thinking, “wow, it is real, she is real.”  As Andrea and Marcy noticed that I beginning to sink into the floor again they sprung into action.  Get dressed they told me we have things to do.  I needed to get my belongings and before I knew it the girls had come up with a plan and were executing it before my eyes.    First up, finding a storage unit.  I would need a place to put the items I was able to get and they had found one nearby.  Step two, get help- I didn’t know how much I would be able to move but I knew we needed help!  Andrea found a mover that I could pay by the hour; basically, it was 3 guys and a big truck and she had called our girlfriend Leah.

Finally, it was time I text my husband.  We decided I would be honest and tell him I was coming to the house to pick up some of my things and I needed him to leave.  Seeing him face to face was not something I could imagine.  At this point, he was very accommodating and agreed to leave.  I told him I would need 3 hours and would arrive at 6:30 pm, I kept all the text very short and unemotional.  Really, I knew it would take about an hour and I we didn’t plan to get there until 7- I wasn’t risking a run in. Leah arrived at Andreas (she even wore a sports bra or “business bra” as she called it, just for the occasion) and soon we were off- four girls, two SUV’s, three men and one large truck.  As we pulled up to the building my stomach turned, it had only been just over 24 hours since I left and it made me sick.   When I walked into our townhouse I went numb, I wasn’t sad, I wasn’t going to cry, I just didn’t feel anything.  I went directly to the office with Marcy and one of the movers, meanwhile Leah and Andrea headed to the bedroom to start on my closet.   As I stood and stared at my desk and the computer I started to flash back to the moment I found out everything.  I could see myself sitting there discovering all the photos- it was sad.   Knowing that I was paying the movers by the hour I snapped myself out of it and started packing!  My desktop computer, files, and any documents were my first priority.   Once I had everything I could think of for the moment, I headed upstairs where the girls were packing up my closet onto rolling racks and wardrobe boxes.  I grabbed a few suitcases and started packing the important things; shoes, handbags, jewelry!

Next up the bathroom, at first I grabbed only my personal and essential things like I was going on an overnight trip.  As I looked around it all became very personal, I saw his toothbrush, his skin care products, his razor… the bathroom is a very intimate place.  For some reason, as I moved through the house I kept thinking, “oh I can’t take that he will notice.”  I did not take any furniture, anything from the kitchen, any photos, any books… not much of anything.  As crazy as it sounds, I didn’t want to upset him.  Not want to upset HIM?  I know it sounds totally ridiculous; it isn’t like he ever considered if he was upsetting me the past 6 years.  But a tiny small part of me still thought, this will all be explained and all sorted out.  I am embarrassed to even admit that now- how ridiculous.  I didn’t break anything or take anything that wasn’t mine but I needed to do something.  I am not going to say that the following acts were or were not done but I will say this.  When someone has hurt you deeply, betrayed you beyond your wildest dreams and you want to get back at him or her you could consider one of the following.  Take his or her electric toothbrush and use it to clean the toilet.    Just turn it on and use it to polish all of those tiny little hard to reach spots under the rim.  Lightly rinse, or not, and place back on the charger.  Another option is to open his or her very expensive face wash and add a little spit, shake vigorously when done and place back on the counter.  Some how these tiny little gestures will make you feel better I promise, or so I can imagine.

As the three men were carting things out of my home (now former home), through the lobby of the building and into the truck the doorman stopped me and said “ you know you need to schedule a move and you can’t do it after 5 pm.”  I looked at him dead in the eyes and said “I am not moving, I am fleeing and if you have a problem with it why don’t you take it up with my husband. “  I left 95% of everything I owned, 80% of that I would never see again.  Soon we were ready to go and there was one last thing I was NOT leaving behind, the dog!  I had no idea where I was going but I did know I was not leaving without my precious baby Jet.  He traveled everywhere with me and quite honestly I didn’t think my husband deserved him.  I knew it would hurt him deeply to not have our dog and when I looked at Jet’s little face, in that moment I wanted my husband to hurt.   Several of the photos Katy had posted online had a dog in them, funny enough it had the same nickname as our dog.  I guess that kept it simple for him.

We made our way to the storage unit, unloaded the truck, and headed back to Andreas.  I needed to snuggle with Jet and drink some wine.   We would spend all of Sunday holed up in Andrea’s living room; the Princess Bride, and me, Andrea, Macy and Maggie (she had finally arrived) with Chinese food and wine.  I had my things, I had my dog, and I had my plane ticket home.  The car would be there early in the morning to pick me up.  I was finally going home, a mixed feeling came over me.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s